Have you found yourself the unwilling victim of a coordinated act of civilian utility? Are your days and nights drawn out into a seemingly endless tide of listless confusion and moral uncertainty? Have you or anyone you know ever disappeared?
Allow us to impart a practical and modern solution.
You have been selected to participate in a global social experiment. Your participation in this experiment may or may not result in the following side-effects and conditions:
The experiment has already begun. Your involvement is vital towards the success of this undertaking. Please carefully review the training materials provided below.
Upon your completion of the preliminary training phase, we request a minimal amount of contact information to allow for your inclusion in further phases of this experiment.